I like to be called ‘a love therapist’…

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Have you ever played sexy strangers in a bar with your partner? Have you ever had a grope in a restaurant under the table or visited the toilet simultaneously at the interval in the theatre? If your answer is no, then maybe you need to enlist the help of a very sexy brunette escort. Oh yeah, me!

I have turned men’s outlook on women from unapproachable to unbelievable. And I don’t believe that anything is too much or I am giving men a false sense of hope. Believe it or not, I have friends outside of my line of work who have been in relationships for a long time and like to keep the spark alive with a cheeky fumble at the cinema or dressing up in some amazing outfits, clearly inspired by moi but with all the drive and passion from them.

As a London Escort, I have loved playing ‘restore his faith in women’ with many clients. We have taken the stereotype of gorgeous but a real bitch and turned it into a beautiful but genuine laugh and added a few bits of super sexy mystery as a bonus. I have held hands, shimmied in close and strutted my stuff around like I have the best man in the world next to me, and I love giving them the confidence to either send them on their way or get them to book another date.

Yes, call me Ms Therapist of all things sexual. Move over, Barry White; listen to my sensual callings…

Elite lap dancer?

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I never thought of myself as much of a dancer. A model first and foremost, an expensive escort, a fantastic shopper, but an erotic dancer? Not so much.

I’ve always had rhythm and been the first up for a dance in a club or at a party, but when Mark asked me to pose as an erotic dancer in one of his private and expensive men’s clubs in Knightsbridge and dance just for him but in full view of all the other punters, I admit I was nervous!

I had all day Saturday to prepare for my exhibition. I’ve done the strip-tease routine for clients and frequented many pole dancing clubs, but this is a different kettle of fish. Mark, being the owner, knows this isn’t my forte. He just wanted to see me in all my glory, giving him more than the average girls do to their customers. I think it’s a power thing; the club owner gets extras and flaunts it to his faithful, panting customers!

My outfit was a good place to start in my mind. Did I want to go demure, sweet and sexy or blatant sex on legs? I chose a glittering sheath dress with full bra, knickers and suspenders to peel off underneath or a leather waistcoat, hot pants and nipple-tassels and thong with thigh-high socks combo. Decisions…

I then did what I’m guessing every woman who has danced for someone has done…I practised with both. I even got into full makeup for each scenario. I did a quick shot of tequila, as I know I would do that evening, to see if that would loosen me up a bit, and believe me, it did!

If I do say so myself, as I revolved and ground into thin air in front of my full wall mirror, I was pretty good, with or without the happy juice. Being a model has the advantage of knowing how to stick out certain parts of your anatomy to full effect. I even invited a fellow escort friend to view my entertainment piece for the evening and got a few fantastic tips from her, too. She helped me decide on leather vixen, tousled my hair, and smoked up my eyes to perfection.

So, to say Mark was happy that night was an understatement. The added extras of letting his tongue touch me in places in front of his elite clientele went down a treat, and my special tip of a platinum Chanel bracelet was well worth the practice and tequila consumption.

Push em up!!!

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Like most women, there are parts of my body that I like and parts that I wish were bigger or smaller. I am lucky that I have a model physique and full breasts, but sometimes, a client may want something a little different. I guess by UK standards, I am slim, but my boobs are average, so with all the money I spend on underwear to enhance, push up and generally entice, I do on occasion get asked if I would like an operation to keep them large and in my opinion out of proportion.

I wouldn’t have surgery because I am more than happy with my best escort body, but I certainly entertain the idea of changing my look on request, so I have spent a lot of time and money on specific instant boob job bras to set my clients hearts racing. The joy of this kind of underwear is that you don’t have to take it off in the throes of passion. My clients don’t usually request me to wear it when we’re out underneath whatever couture I’m rocking because four boobs do not look good in the latest Gucci shift or backless Pucci. I go from accompanying them to a fabulous restaurant and flirting with them in the trendiest of bars in my feminine and expensive threads and then give them the thrill of a lifetime in their five-star hotel in Knightsbridge with my push-ups, hold-ups and keep-them-up attire.

Jeremy is a 40-something businessman passionate about the finest things in life. He loves money and flashes it like there is no tomorrow. He has requested the pleasure of my company many times, watching shows, shopping, eating out and entertaining his clients, and he has always made clear that he wants a woman who only speaks when spoken to and blends into the background. But…when Jeremy has booked an all-nighter, he again is specific in his wants, and a buxom brunette who is entirely uninhibited is at the top of his list. Now, as much as I have a good set on me, this is a cause for the super non-surgery undies, and Jeremy adores the look. I like to vamp it up and go all out because I’ve usually been restrained all evening anyway, so really, we’re getting the best out of each other.

My very practised and perfect art of seduction gets Jez going more when my assets lead and enter the room before I do!

A Cocktail hour (or two)

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Apart from my ardour for champagne and sparkling expensive vintage, I do love Happy Hour at cocktail bars. With my 24hr London escort friends or with a client, there’s something immeasurably sexy about smooth cocktails blended in a clear glass.

So imagine my delight at being given the opportunity to sample free drinks at the Rib Room Bar on Sloane Street. With anything from a “Sloane Street Vesper” (with pink vodka and Gin) to a non-alcoholic “Cricket Tea” amid the luxury of long bars, high stools and a cigar bar for the discerning smoker. And all this with Kieran – my newest client, with bags of Sloane Square attitude.

Kieran speaks as though he has plums in his mouth and well he might seeing as he went to Eton and then to Oxford. Yet despite his impressive education (and inheritance!) he likes the playboy lifestyle and has no intention of making his mother proud and marrying a like-minded Sloane-Ranger. He likes his playboy lifestyle, to dress in fine Italian suits and his 24hr Companions. I am the third since New Year.

Kieran and I were greeted at the cordoned off area for the private party by Alexa, the PR executive organising the event. She handed us our first cocktail of the evening – something orange and smelling intoxicatingly of peach. As I sipped it, I took in my surroundings and became mesmerised by the barman shaking, pouring and mixing his way through the customers leaning on the bar. I was so impressed by his ability to recall recipes at will and charm the clientele that I almost forgot I was there for Kieran and not myself.

Once I had recovered my awe and admiration, I turned my attention to stroking Kieran’s bicep and his ego. I flattered him; made sure I got tipsy enough to giggle like a school-girl and then coquettishly suggested we ‘go back to his place for a night cap.’ We had been there a reasonable two and a half hours; enough to be photographed by the local press covering the event, get his name in column inches (not mine) and be seen by the right people.

And then we were off to Belgravia, chauffeur-driven with a bottle of Prosecco to drink on the way…

This could be magic…

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Have you ever seen a live magician at a party or show? I have often been entertained by would-be Derren Browns at weddings and occasion-birthday parties – even at the pub on a Tuesday night. I always say “oooh” and “ahhh”, and no matter how closely I look, I can never work out how they do it. In short, I love being impressed by someone who can do something I can’t.

I was introduced to Jerry at a friend’s anniversary gathering. He was sitting on the sofa in their Hampstead home, drinking coffee, shuffling a deck of cards with one hand. Jerry cut and flicked the cards over and under as I stood mesmerised. I didn’t even realise how rude I was being by staring, but I was entranced. He must have felt my eyes on his because he lifted his head and gave me a wide grin—something clenched in the pit of my stomach.

By the end of the evening, I had begged him to show me a few tricks and slightly fallen in love. His long, tapered fingers caressed the coins he vanished; the red foam ball that tripled in my clenched palms was sweaty with lust, and I fantasised about him making my underwear disappear with a wave of his hand. Brazen or not, I handed him my business card as he left and hoped to hear from him again.

I asked my friends about him, as you do, as soon as the door closed. They told me he worked the Kensington circuit and had been performing quietly for friends and family before being taken on by an agent in 2009. Although he wasn’t entirely up to David Copperfield’s standard, he could make things vanish before your eyes.

Well, I don’t want to be big-headed. I knew I would hear from him by today, and he rang me at 09.30m, wondering what I was up to. Was this a typical escort and client date or something purely personal? I didn’t want to throw my hourly rate into the mix, so I hoped he wanted to spend some time with me because I impressed him. We arranged to meet at the South Bank for lunch at 1.00 p.m. I wanted to wear something flowery and floaty, but that weather seems to have other ideas.

I feel nervous as I type this as I haven’t been on a date for myself in a long time. I don’t want a boyfriend, but I would like a new playmate who can teach me something to wow my social circle. It’s never too late to find him.