Today, I am going to an Auction. Well, it was an early start. My right-hand man, Franco, was in Mayfair with a cardboard carrier of Americano coffees and some croissants to go. As I had my hair in a towel and my stress head on, this was a very welcome sight! My door was wedged open with a shoe – not being auctioned off – and some burly and tasty young men were moving in and out of it. Sometimes, I almost said, “Oh, not that one,” but Franco shook his head wordlessly at me, and I had to let them go.
And then we were off to Oxford Circus! I could feel the adrenaline as we watched the crates and rails being unloaded by a team of highly organised young women. I have no idea where they came from, but they had something to do with James and his abundant knowledge of fundraiser organisers. They treated me like royalty, and I could almost taste the palpable aura of garment lust. “If you want it, you’ll have to bid on it, darling, Franco said to one young, sexy blonde pawing a limited edition Pucci silk jacket.
At ten o’clock, the doors swung open to welcome the public. The rows of seats quickly filled, with assistants on the phone and buyers lining the edges of the warehouse. I recognised a few familiar faces from my usual spots in Kensington, Fulham, and Chelsea—some even gave me a thumbs up. My beautician was right at the front, ready to bid her life savings on one of my pink fur coats.
A cause truly worth supporting.
There was an electric buzz in the air, and then Franco introduced the cause—followed by my introduction! I was called to the front to say a few words; my mouth went dry, but I managed to get through it. After a wave of deafening applause, the auction began.
Money, amounting to tens, hundreds, and even thousands, flew around the warehouse. A pair of strappy Jimmy Choo shoes from SS07 sold for £900 within the first ten minutes! Scraps of silk, lace, satin, and feathers changed hands like hotcakes. A few Japanese girls in the audience were fiercely competing for Chanel and Chloe, and I thought things might get a bit heated at one point. Thankfully, James had the foresight to hire me some security guards for the day.
By 1:30 PM, it was all over. The cash tin was counted, and the cheques and credit card slips were bundled together. After checking three times, the total for my designer goods at auction was an astonishing £327,089! And no, I’m not joking. Keep in mind that my collection includes affluent clients and a selection of retro, authentic pieces; it’s still quite impressive!
Enjoy supporting St. Barnardo’s and SCOPE—two truly worthy causes!
